There's so much to update in my life that I can't possibly begin to explain it all. I'll give you the run down though.
September 25-28th, 2008
+Drove to Sara's on Thursday night; decided to pick up J and head to Blackstone for the night; I saw an old friend who I haven't seen in a looonngg time; drank Bud Light and 1/3 of a fish bowl; assuming it was a great night because I can't remember how it ended except for sleeping with Sara
+Friday night was a Black and White social at Lacey's, complete with Everclear jello shots, cosmo's, beer pong, and a stripper pole; wasted; went home at 12:30 a.m.; hung out with F and E people; rum and coke; went over to the neighbors and witnessed what I thought was true all along; got wasted more; did things I shouldn't have but no regrets; MORE wasted; ran into a friend; went to another neighbors after an awkward and extremely embarassing situation (i.e. complete humiliation); went BACK to humiliation situation to be made a fool of some more; fuck my life
+After 4.5 hours of fucking crazy spinny, much needed sleep, me and Sara woke up and started drinking again at noon; group of friends came over for tailgating at the football game; went tailgating and had an awesome and amazing time; watched less than a quarter of the football game and went home to have Jet's; passed out at 5:30 in the afternoon; woke up only to feel like miserable SHIT; went to the neighbors; a girl walked in with a kitten in her Coach purse; Reece really wants a baby girl; hung out with Jill, Jenna and Sara the rest of the night; SLEEEEEP
+Sunday, STARBUCKS, home, MORE SLEEP, 8 hours of talking to CB/play CoD4; xbox is updating at 3 a.m.
+I have an amazing life. Enough said.
More later.
XD.
Monday, September 29, 2008
Saturday, September 20, 2008
Seems like they don't love you til you're dead, right?
I love that I didn't even finish that last blog. I don't really remember what I was doing, but I was sidetracked by something. I'm constantly getting sidetracked.I guess that's the way I am though. I have to make myself available 24/7. I like being available for anyone to get ahold of whenever they need me, but damn. Sometimes it can be overwhelming. There's a lot of people between work, my real life friends and xbox friends. But what can I do?
I'm going to write a flat out letter. IF you boys ever read my blog, you would know this. The simple honest, flat out truth.
Dear V,
I am no longer your girlfriend because I gave my whole heart to someone else, and I made a promise that I wouldn't break it. I am truly sorry. I know I hurt you because you expected me to be someone that I am not for you. You also nicely told me that you want me to look better. And that you were afraid of cheating on me. It's over and I'm passed it. I feel like you should try moving on as well. And no, you're not flying out here.
Dear CB,
I did make a promise to you that I will never break your heart. You mean SO much to me, more than I will ever begin to explain to you. I know how hard it was for you to open up to me and tell me how much you love me. You didn't know if I felt the same way, but you took a dive and went for it anyway. I am so glad that you did. I have sooo much to tell you that it's hard for me to find the words when I'm talking to you. We have been through so much together, and I know we are going to go through so much more. You have worked so hard to change things in your life for me, and I couldn't be more proud of you. I hope you know how happy you make me every day.
You made me download this song tonight:
Let it slide, let your troubles fall behind you, let it shine until you feel it all around you, and I don't mind if it's me you turn to, we'll get by, it's the heart that really matters in the end.
It's so true and I know things are bad, but we will get through them all. I love you so much.
XD.
I'm going to write a flat out letter. IF you boys ever read my blog, you would know this. The simple honest, flat out truth.
Dear V,
I am no longer your girlfriend because I gave my whole heart to someone else, and I made a promise that I wouldn't break it. I am truly sorry. I know I hurt you because you expected me to be someone that I am not for you. You also nicely told me that you want me to look better. And that you were afraid of cheating on me. It's over and I'm passed it. I feel like you should try moving on as well. And no, you're not flying out here.
Dear CB,
I did make a promise to you that I will never break your heart. You mean SO much to me, more than I will ever begin to explain to you. I know how hard it was for you to open up to me and tell me how much you love me. You didn't know if I felt the same way, but you took a dive and went for it anyway. I am so glad that you did. I have sooo much to tell you that it's hard for me to find the words when I'm talking to you. We have been through so much together, and I know we are going to go through so much more. You have worked so hard to change things in your life for me, and I couldn't be more proud of you. I hope you know how happy you make me every day.
You made me download this song tonight:
Let it slide, let your troubles fall behind you, let it shine until you feel it all around you, and I don't mind if it's me you turn to, we'll get by, it's the heart that really matters in the end.
It's so true and I know things are bad, but we will get through them all. I love you so much.
XD.
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
I guess I can't really call myself a regular blogger based on the fact that I blog about once a week. It always feels like I do it more often than I do.
So here's the new plan: I'm moving to New York. I was thinking about this. Where else is the best place to work in sports, entertainment, and fashion PR? Those are my objectives (to work in one of those areas). I feel like New York is a great place for placement in this area as well as greater chances of a high(er) paying salary (than in Michigan). Big step for this little girl. How am I going to do it? I have no fucking clue, but I am.
There's a boy on the east coast that I love.
XD
So here's the new plan: I'm moving to New York. I was thinking about this. Where else is the best place to work in sports, entertainment, and fashion PR? Those are my objectives (to work in one of those areas). I feel like New York is a great place for placement in this area as well as greater chances of a high(er) paying salary (than in Michigan). Big step for this little girl. How am I going to do it? I have no fucking clue, but I am.
There's a boy on the east coast that I love.
XD
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
Another day, another dollar
Life is getting more and more confusing each and every day. I'm not the kind of person who likes things to be dramatic and difficult. I'm more into simplicity, honesty, and being upfront. Afterall, I don't know unless you tell me.
All I can do is hope for the best and try my hardest. No one wants to be hurt in this situation. But someone's bound to be.
And most likely, it will be me.
All I can do is hope for the best and try my hardest. No one wants to be hurt in this situation. But someone's bound to be.
And most likely, it will be me.
Monday, September 8, 2008
You electrify my life
Honestly, if you know me at all, then you would know by now that I never have a dull day.
After a night of heavy drinking with friends, truth and confessions came forward, and everyone knows that that's exactly what can be fun.
I started off the day with a two hour conference call about web team things, which lead into playing xbox with some friends. I don't think I played xbox for as long as I did in a while. I'm not going to go into details, because all you need to know is the important facts.
My closest friend who I love to death admitted his true feelings to me. He was hesitant as first (it took him about an hour to work up the courage to tell me). But when he did, it was incredible. He told him me that he's in love with me. And he wants to be with me.
I am just so speechless and tried to comfort him because he was scared. I didn't realize that I should also immediately tell him that I too love him. But eventually, I gave him the answer that he needed to hear.I was just so worried about making him feel comforted.
And now my best friend CB is in love with me. And I love him back, more than anything. I think me and CB need each other more than anything right now. There are changes in our lives that we have to do together. I need him. And I know he needs me.
I have so much running through my mind right now. I don't even know where to begin to sort everything out. It's all just so crazy.
XD.
After a night of heavy drinking with friends, truth and confessions came forward, and everyone knows that that's exactly what can be fun.
I started off the day with a two hour conference call about web team things, which lead into playing xbox with some friends. I don't think I played xbox for as long as I did in a while. I'm not going to go into details, because all you need to know is the important facts.
My closest friend who I love to death admitted his true feelings to me. He was hesitant as first (it took him about an hour to work up the courage to tell me). But when he did, it was incredible. He told him me that he's in love with me. And he wants to be with me.
I am just so speechless and tried to comfort him because he was scared. I didn't realize that I should also immediately tell him that I too love him. But eventually, I gave him the answer that he needed to hear.I was just so worried about making him feel comforted.
And now my best friend CB is in love with me. And I love him back, more than anything. I think me and CB need each other more than anything right now. There are changes in our lives that we have to do together. I need him. And I know he needs me.
I have so much running through my mind right now. I don't even know where to begin to sort everything out. It's all just so crazy.
XD.
Friday, September 5, 2008
Some things will never change
So much has been going on lately in my life that I wouldn't know where to begin, even if I tried to. I've been having a lot of problems with boys lately, although I'm guessing boys are nothing but problems anyway. I'm going to tell you how last night went...
I had a little misunderstanding with my BFF CB about who knows what. He was a little drunk and I took something he said a little more serious than I should have I guess, which resulted in a very awkward conversation about the judgment of my character. I haven't lied to him at all. I was drinking slightly and I was offended by the comment he made, "its surprising that the truth comes out after someones had a little alcohol in them."
Now, yes, I know I drink, and I know I drink often. But I've been getting a lot of comments this like "Dahlia drinking?? Nooo!!!", and "Dahlia's drunk? She's always drunk!", and friends of my friends are actually worrying about me being a bad influence and to stay safe.
I think about these things and feel slightly offended although they are true, and yet, I still find myself in the booze aisle grabbing bottles of whatever drink I feel like making for that night. I've been spending around $60 a week on booze, not including the bars I've been going to. Sign of a problem? No, I really don't think so. It just feels so good when it hits my lips. By the way, oatmeal cookies tonight.
Moving on. After the misunderstanding with my friend, an OLD ex-friend started to message me to talk. Now, there is a high school rivalry going on there, and there are actually sides. I've picked my side which doesn't allow me to talk to this man who hurt me over and over and over, while I sat back and watched it happen. Everyone talks shit about him all the time, but I know he doesn't deserve it always. I really do think I know him better than anyone else and I hate hearing it. But I can't allow myself to talk to him because I know he's just going to hurt me more. So message exchange went on for a couple hours and finally I told him that I just can't talk to him. Done.
V calls me at almost 3 in the morning (I was just about to call him before I went to bed) and starts screaming at me. THIS was the LAST thing I expected. I really had no idea what I did to make him mad. Apparently he knew I was in distress while talking to the previously mentioned ex-friend, and I apparently ignored his requests to talk for a minute. I was super busy and I really could not talk. SO this argument went on for over 2 hours because I still couldn't figure out the part where he was mad enough to yell at me. I'm still a little confused. Whatever. He hung up on me, and I went to sleep. I don't plan on talking to him today either because I'm really not putting up with bullshit and he can take the time to figure out that I caused NO drama and he really overreacted in this situation.
I don't know. I don't even know if I still have a job. I just...hate this feeling. I'm beginning to wonder if I should just quit everything, take the semester off and work. Just try to save up some money so I buy a car. And then look for an internship in New York in the spring semester. I wish I had a magic 8 ball or a fortune teller that could read my future. CB and I made plans to move in with each other in the next 5-6 months, which means I have a lot of shit to figure out before then.
I'm going to go watch gossip girl.
XOXO
XD.
I had a little misunderstanding with my BFF CB about who knows what. He was a little drunk and I took something he said a little more serious than I should have I guess, which resulted in a very awkward conversation about the judgment of my character. I haven't lied to him at all. I was drinking slightly and I was offended by the comment he made, "its surprising that the truth comes out after someones had a little alcohol in them."
Now, yes, I know I drink, and I know I drink often. But I've been getting a lot of comments this like "Dahlia drinking?? Nooo!!!", and "Dahlia's drunk? She's always drunk!", and friends of my friends are actually worrying about me being a bad influence and to stay safe.
I think about these things and feel slightly offended although they are true, and yet, I still find myself in the booze aisle grabbing bottles of whatever drink I feel like making for that night. I've been spending around $60 a week on booze, not including the bars I've been going to. Sign of a problem? No, I really don't think so. It just feels so good when it hits my lips. By the way, oatmeal cookies tonight.
Moving on. After the misunderstanding with my friend, an OLD ex-friend started to message me to talk. Now, there is a high school rivalry going on there, and there are actually sides. I've picked my side which doesn't allow me to talk to this man who hurt me over and over and over, while I sat back and watched it happen. Everyone talks shit about him all the time, but I know he doesn't deserve it always. I really do think I know him better than anyone else and I hate hearing it. But I can't allow myself to talk to him because I know he's just going to hurt me more. So message exchange went on for a couple hours and finally I told him that I just can't talk to him. Done.
V calls me at almost 3 in the morning (I was just about to call him before I went to bed) and starts screaming at me. THIS was the LAST thing I expected. I really had no idea what I did to make him mad. Apparently he knew I was in distress while talking to the previously mentioned ex-friend, and I apparently ignored his requests to talk for a minute. I was super busy and I really could not talk. SO this argument went on for over 2 hours because I still couldn't figure out the part where he was mad enough to yell at me. I'm still a little confused. Whatever. He hung up on me, and I went to sleep. I don't plan on talking to him today either because I'm really not putting up with bullshit and he can take the time to figure out that I caused NO drama and he really overreacted in this situation.
I don't know. I don't even know if I still have a job. I just...hate this feeling. I'm beginning to wonder if I should just quit everything, take the semester off and work. Just try to save up some money so I buy a car. And then look for an internship in New York in the spring semester. I wish I had a magic 8 ball or a fortune teller that could read my future. CB and I made plans to move in with each other in the next 5-6 months, which means I have a lot of shit to figure out before then.
I'm going to go watch gossip girl.
XOXO
XD.
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